It all started a few weeks ago while we were shopping at Target. I found a bunch of silly-band type bracelets on clearance, so I picked up about 10 packs. I buying them in anticipation of the Operation Christmas Child boxes I was going to be packing with my MOPs group.
Unfortunately, my normally sweet 4 year old son did not seem to understand this. He stood in the aisle at Target, crossed his arms and said (in a very demanding voice):
“I want SOMETHING. I want something.”
I explained that these were for children who didn’t get lots of presents like he does, or have lots of toys.
It didn’t matter.
Over and over again, he repeated this as we headed toward the check out stand. The more he said it, the more infuriated I became. Hadn’t I taught him empathy? Where did this greedy, jealous child come from? And why did he have the notion that because I was buying these things for other children that I should automatically be buying something for him?
The whining continued through the check out (even the man behind me said something about how his wife always had to buy their granddaughter something) and to the car. In addition to the whining, I’d been trying to talk to him, explain to him, and had finally resorted to threats whispered in his ear through clenched teeth – none of it worked.
This was a problem I had caused – maybe not on purpose, but something I had failed to see or address throughout the year. But now, how do I fix it?
First, I started by talking. A LOT. We talked about the children that would receive the boxes and their situations and how their lives were so different. Then, instead of avoiding the possible tantrums, I took my children with me to purchase more items for the boxes. When I’d pick something up, my son would say: “Is that for the kids who don’t get presents?” I felt like he was starting to understand!
It really helped when I had them pick out three small toys each to give away – they both really wanted what they picked out, but knew that they weren’t going to keep them.
Operation Christmas Child is such a great way to give your time and money to children around the world – even in the United States!
Other great organizations to help fight the greed monster in your child are:
Angel Tree (purchasing gifts for children who’s parents are in prison)
Christian Family Care (your family or a group of families can adopt a foster family and purchase gifts for them)
Phoenix Rescue Mission (you can donate to help feed homeless people in Phoenix)
In addition to donating goods or money, you can also donate your time. If you have older children, most shelters will allow them to volunteer. I remember volunteering and serving meals to homeless people in Milwaukee when I was young – maybe 10 – and it really impacted my life.
How about you? What do you do to fight the greed monster?
Love this post! I have a four year old too and we are always dealing with the “I want” issue. Great idea on taking her with me for our Christmas child project. I was planning on doing it alone but this sounds perfect!
Rachel – Following In My Shoes recently posted..Pumpkin Bread with Egg-Nog Cream Cheese Filling
Love this! I always have to deal with the “I wants” when we’re at the store!
Jennifer recently posted..Gift Ideas for Any Princess
I always try and make sure my kids participate in giving. It really is the only way. We are all born with that innate sense of “gimme” and I think the only way to combat it is to make giving a habit.
Kim @ What’s That Smell? recently posted..Gerber for holiday snacking!
I think it’s neat how you used this frustrating experience in the store as a springboard and learning experience. Even the best-behaved kids have their moments, and to be imparting these messages about helping others at such a young age is fantastic!
Beeb Ashcroft recently posted..Tropical Traditions Powdered Laundry Detergent Giveaway – Ends 12/06 – US & Canada
Great resources, great parenting. Thanks for sharing! I have to fight the greed monster in myself too. We’re test driving a $30K+ SUV this week and it’s going to be hard to go back to my car after this. Our little Honda was just fine before!
Jenn recently posted..RSV Awareness and Prevention
Hey there. I am in the Phoenix area as well. I love this post. Most parents today seem to shrug greed off but it is very serious! We do OCC as well and um children love to give to other children. Filling those shoe boxes is the highlight of their holiday season!
I would love it if you’d link this up on my blog carnival Family Time Tuesday!
Janice
Janice recently posted..Movie Review: The Muppets
This is a great post!
I worry about this with my kids – nowadays kids just seem to get whatever they want and have about 500 presents under the tree… at least many do. Not all of course. But people think that’s the norm and go into debt to do that for their kids. Sad.
Thanks for the roundup of ways to help! Our church is doing AngleTree this year.
I’m looking forward to doing similar things in the future with my kids to help them see it’s about helping other people.
Lindsey@Kindred Spirit Mommy recently posted..{2011 Holiday Gift Guide} Hot Wheels Wall Tracks Review
That’s great how you’re showing your kids how to give and not think everything is about THEM. Your patience will certainly pay off. This reminds me of something from my own childhood that impacted me so strongly that I still remember it today. When I was about six, there was a family in our neighborhood who lost everything in a house fire. They were several blocks away, and we didn’t even know them, but I guess the whole neighborhood must have been conducting a drive to collect things for the family. At any rate, the part I remember is this: our Mom sat us down and explained very soberly how these children had lost everything… even their clothes and their toys. Then she had us go through our OWN toys and clothing to pick out things we could give up so that those kids could have something again. She probably added a few kitchen and household items, some cans of food, and maybe some adult-sized clothing to the collection. But we felt so important and honored to be helping that family! We were sharing of OURSELVES. I think that one incident did more for making me the caring person that I am today, than many other small things all put together did. It made me aware of other people’s needs.
That is an incredible example, Arline!! It’s so important for children to give stuff away, I think – I try to do the same with my kids by going through their toys every so often. They don’t have the stark reality like you did – but I think it’s awesome how your neighborhood came together to help that family. If only neighborhoods were still the same now.